


Missing Pieces

by premeditated



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-19
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-11-26 00:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/premeditated/pseuds/premeditated
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are always parts of a book that don't make the final cut, but that doesn't mean that they don't deserve to be told. A Supernatural 100 Themes Challenge: one hundred drabbles, one hundred words each. Theme fifteen: seeking solace. Eventually, he got tired of hoping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chuck realizes that this story isn't over, not yet; there will always be more to tell.

Chuck jolted awake at his computer, breathing hard. He closed his eyes, images still flying behind his eyelids: epic adventures, trying journeys. They raced by, twisted, contorted, changed, until they were words.

His eyes snapped open, and he began to type:

_There's always more to a story than what's on the page. Sometimes, you can't find a place for that one little piece of the puzzle. It's small, so you set it aside. Then you find another. And another. No one misses them, but the picture is incomplete._

He took a deep breath.

_These are some of my missing pieces…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> re-posting from my ff.net account. I'm trying to do as many different things as possible, so tell me if there's a pairing or something that you want to see!


	2. complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protecting him wasn't easy once he started to grow up.

Sam figured out they weren't a "normal" family pretty quickly, and that's when he started asking questions: always to Dean and always when their father was away.

"Why don't we have a mom?"

"Why do we move around so much?"

"Where does Dad go all the time?"

And Dean never lied, always protecting his kid brother from the unfairness of their world with the same two words:

"…It's complicated."

Until one day, he realized it was too late.

"Why doesn't he—"

"Why don't you just ask him yourself?" Dean finally exploded.

Sam frowned, thinking over his answer.

Then, "It's complicated."


	3. making history

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was days like these that would have made other hunters want to quit, but not him.

"Mr. Winchester, I'd like to speak with you."

Sixteen-year-old Dean rolled his eyes, slumping in his seat as the rest of his classmates left.

The teacher was young, still naïve enough to believe she could inspire. He knew the type.

After a long pause, she said, "You're failing my class." He snorted. Her eyes narrowed. "Why is history such a joke to you?"

Dean stood, grinning dangerously. "Sweetheart, I make my own history."

As he sauntered out, she called, "By doing what?"

He was gone, but he muttered, "Saving your sorry ass."

It was just too bad she'd never know.


	4. rivalry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They always fought, but usually nobody won.

“No.”

“What did you just say to me?”

“No, _sir_.”

John stood, voice rising. “Don’t play games with me, son.”

Sam rose, too, towering in height and presence. “It’s _my_ life; I’m not hunting anymore.”

Fazed, John blinked. Sam started for the door. “I’m going to _college,_ and getting a _job,_ because _I_ want to!”

“If you leave now, I never want to see you again.”

There was a challenge in his eyes.

Sam turned his back. John sat down.

Dean glared, running after Sam. “So your stupid pride is worth more than my baby brother?”

John didn’t look up.


	5. unbreakable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one can die and come back alive.

Dean was unbreakable.

He had a purpose.  _Saving people, hunting things._

"What we do is important," he said, and he meant it.

"I'll always be here for you," he promised, and he kept it.

He gave up so much, but that was okay. Stargazing on the Impala beside Sam, he knew he could take whatever was thrown his way.

Then life dragged him to Hell and back.

He wakes up to the real world, breathing death crying guilt death emptiness  _death_ —crushing, all of them suffocating—why doesn't he feel  _anything_ —

He's still unbreakable.

Now there's nothing left to break.


	6. obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John always thought he was doing the right thing.

You watch that  _thing_  set your life ablaze.

_(It's your fault.)_

You're helpless, and you hate it. You promise this won't happen again; you'll fix everything.

You  _won't_  let it take anything else from you.

Somehow, you think, everything will be normal if you hunt it down and  _destroy_  it.

_(You mean like it destroyed you?)_

You don't stop for anything.

Then your son locks himself in his room, yelling, " _You_  ruined this family, not that stupid demon!" and you wonder: were you wrong?

_(Too late.)_

You watch him run out of your life.

You're helpless, and you hate yourself.


	7. eternity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, he wondered how the blink of an eye could make such a difference.

" _Play the game tonight!"_

Whenever Castiel had something to tell Dean, he somehow found himself in the back of the Impala, invisible, as Dean sang his heart out.

It was so real, so human, it made him realize just how _not_ human he was.

" _Can you tell me if it's wrong or right?"_

Humans got closure; they got endings. Castiel would be living long past Dean's.

But he was still risking _everything_.

" _Is it worth the time? Is it worth the price?"_

Dean kept singing, nearly swerving off the road.

Castiel sighed.

"Dean."

"Gah—! Fucking _Christ_ , Cas, don't _do_ that…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song is "Play the Game Tonight" by Kansas!


	8. gateway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because after that first time, Sam felt something change inside him. He couldn't stop even if he wanted to.

They fell onto the bed, tangled together and kissing fiercely, over and over, with growing urgency, like they could just breathe each other instead of air.

Ruby suddenly pulled away, gasping and trailing her fingers through his hair. "Ready?" she breathed.

"Yes."

_No._

Mesmerized, he stared as she hovered over him, grinning seductively, and slowly drew the knife down her arm. She put her lips to his ear, whispering, "I'm all yours."

He felt her pulse hammering against him, saw her blood pumping out, and his only thought was _I need it, I need it…_

He couldn't go back now.


	9. death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean had died more than anyone else ever had or ever would, but he always had something to come back to.

He came back.

He always came back.

He sat alone and thought,  _I'd be better off dead_ , but he never let himself stay that way.

"There's too much to live for," he told himself. "Too many lives to save."

_There are people I'll die for. Over and over._

So when one of his only friends in the world wants to stay gone, he can't even comprehend it.

"Cas, you'll make it back," he promises.

And when he doesn't, it's his fault. He let his friend down. He lets everyone down.

It's always his fault.

_Maybe I'd be better off dead._


	10. opportunities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'd never really thought about it like it was a choice.

"Dean, I need help with my homework."

Dean rolled onto his stomach on the cheap motel bed next to his brother. "Sure, if it means I get to put mine off."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I'm supposed to ask you a question."

"Shoot."

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Dean blinked. He saw plenty of trashy beds just like this one and the lonely nights he'd spend in them. He saw the monsters under the bed and the monsters in people's hearts. He saw the future, and it was now.

He shrugged. "Hell if I know."


	11. 33%

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Cas looks back on the path he chose, he somehow finds that he doesn’t have as many regrets as he expected he would.

They died like they lived: together.

They went up in flames while no one was watching. You were the only one there. You were the only one _left_ , and you always will be.

You’ll never die, not like them, but you let yourself get pulled in. You made a family like you’ve never known, three parts of a whole, _together._

Now they’re gone, and you’ll only ever by a third of what you were with them by your side. Now you’re broken and alone and a shadow and it’s all because you took that risk.

_And it was worth it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really really sorry I don’t know what happened but I just couldn't think of anything to write because I didn't want to do another one about when they were kids and—  
> /flies into the sun


	12. dead wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samandriel can’t bring himself to admit defeat, even now.

_“There are some in Heaven who still believe, despite his mistakes, that Castiel’s heart was always in the right place.”_

He wakes up with branches clawing the sky and claws slashing his chest. The white stripes on his shirt disappear after a while—he’s falling slowly.

This is the end of the road, and it’s damnation everywhere he turns.

He had so, so much faith, and this is where it got him. He should be bitter, angry, hurt.

But he can’t give up.

All he can think is, _I forgive you._

_I believe in you._

…even as he burns away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, um, I just made myself really sad. Samandriel is just so precious. (why is he dead why why why)


	13. running away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Purgatory is no place for cowards.

_“Cas? Hey, uh, it’s me again…”_

You hear him every night, and you’re slowly cracking under the weight of your mistakes.

It’s all your fault.

You left him.

_“You there?”_

You want to shut it off.

Every word is another fracture in the sky until it finally shatters.

_“Cas?”_

He took the burden from you, and that’s worse.

He shouldn’t have to be brave for you both.

_“Answer me, damn it!”_

You’re looking up at the stars and thinking maybe he is, too.

_“Please. I… need to know you’re okay.”_

He needs you.

_“Please.”_

But not like you need him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to "little lion man" by mumford and sons the whole time I was writing this and it made me really sad.


	14. judgement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t supposed to be up to Castiel, but he made the choice anyway (set during "Goodbye Stranger").

_“Kill him, Castiel.”_

The words twisted around him in a menacing drum beat that pounded in his pulse until he thought they would come out of his mouth like fire and burn him.

He felt the scorching need behind his eyes and in his hands, shaping him, making him.

He _had_ to. He wanted to.

“ _I_ need you.”

And suddenly all the heavy need, the blind rage, everything that wasn’t _him_ drained away until he was staring down at the one man that always helped him find himself.

And he knew just what choice to make.

_I need you, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More destiel because never too much destiel. Ever.


	15. seeking solace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eventually, he got tired of hoping.

“Dean?”

He cracked one eye open. “Sammy? You have a nightmare again?”

“Yeah.”

A burdened sigh.

“Wanna sleep in my bed?”

Sam shook his head. “I’m gonna wait for Dad.”

Dean grimaced and tried to turn it into a smile. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

Sam pulled his knees to his chin and wrapped his arms around his legs, heart pounding and imagination reeling.

He’d dreamed that he was a disappointment (again) and he needed proof it wasn’t true (again).

So he waited.

And waited.

(Again.)

It never came; he never stopped being scared.

But he did stop waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is hopefully going to kick off a huge wave of consecutive updates since it’s summer. But I do have a school program for the next few weeks, so I guess we’ll see.


End file.
